All I know About Love




Hello FPA friends and Happy February!

This month I want to share with y'all a poem that was read by my brother during my wedding ceremony.

I just think it's lovely and captures some foundational ideas about how I view romantic relationships. I hope you read it and enjoy it and maybe take a moment to reflect on the relationships in your life- the ones you've had, the ones you've witnessed in your families, the ones you hope to someday have. Does your love look the way you want it to? Does it look the way you need it to? What part can you play in building a healthier connection to the ones most important to you?

This poem was written by Neil Gaiman, for his friends on their wedding day:


This is everything I have to tell you about love: nothing.

This is everything I've learned about marriage: nothing.

 

Only that the world out there is complicated,

and there are beasts in the night, and delight and pain,

and the only thing that makes it okay, sometimes,

is to reach out a hand in the darkness and find another hand to squeeze,

and not to be alone.

 

It's not the kisses, or never just the kisses: it's what they mean.

Somebody's got your back.

Somebody knows your worst self and somehow doesn't want to rescue you

or send for the army to rescue them.

 

It's not two broken halves becoming one.

It's the light from a distant lighthouse bringing you both safely home

because home is wherever you are both together.

 

So this is everything I have to tell you about love and marriage: nothing,

like a book without pages or a forest without trees.

 

Because there are things you cannot know before you experience them.

Because no study can prepare you for the joys or the trials.

Because nobody else's love, nobody else's marriage, is like yours,

and it's a road you can only learn by walking it,

a dance you cannot be taught,

a song that did not exist before you began, together, to sing.

 

And because in the darkness you will reach out a hand,

not knowing for certain if someone else is even there.

And your hands will meet,

and then neither of you will ever need to be alone again.

 

 

And that's all I know about love.

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